Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think my mom watched the whole time
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
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You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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