jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
