Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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