Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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