the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
