Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize