Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
