We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
