This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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