I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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