like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
