actually, I'm a sock model
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
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Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐