Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend