found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.