fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.