did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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