Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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