im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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