I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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