I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I deserve this hangover.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
