sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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