you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
