just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
