I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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