maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's on the porch naked. Help.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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