so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Randomize
