he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
