Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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