im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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