Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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