Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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