did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
