K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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