It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.