The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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