Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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