Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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