I didn't shave. On purpose
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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