the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
