I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
