My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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