Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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