A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize