It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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