and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize