The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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