Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
