Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
