And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Two words: blizzard sex
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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