Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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