The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
