He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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