She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
