you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong