I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.