I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges