I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did