Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
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i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
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No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.