you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
