and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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