so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
