the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
