I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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