No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
