I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
