You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize