Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
