? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize